so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
