Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You made out with two different species that night
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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