Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
