as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
