Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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