Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
