Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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