he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
