I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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