My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
