you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
