You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
