You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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