I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
