someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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