real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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