I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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