Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
