I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
