I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
