I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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