haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
