when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
