I want to stick my p in your. b.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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