When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
