so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
