i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Everything about him screamed your future.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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