sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
