Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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