am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
