When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
