Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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