epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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