we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
