Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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