There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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