just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
