yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
