yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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