I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
