Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My life is pants optional.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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