if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
