I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
