So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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