I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
