So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
