You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
