I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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