covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
