spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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