I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
